Two Year Survivor

In the words of Natalie, "Ending chemo is more exciting than Christmas!!" Two years ago we recieved the best gift three days before Christmas; Natalie ended chemo and we celebrated that amazing milestone in grand fashion. The sweetness of that milestone has not faded and as we celebrate the milestone of being a two year survivor with Natalie, our hearts are full.
This is Natalie the day before her special anniversary. This is the little bow they put on her finger at clinic after her bloodwork. Part of what makes this milestone so sweet is that most relapses for Leukemia occur in the first two years after ending treatment. We are now officially moving to seeing the oncologist every six months and entering the ACE (After the Cancer Experience) program that is more focused on late term effects of cancer treatment than relapse.
David wrote yesterday, "I'm so proud of Natalie for fighting cancer and all the side effects; and for doing it with a smile." I feel the same way. That really does describe our girl, happy and joyful with a love of life. I am so proud of the amazing girl she has always been and for the girl she is becoming.
To celebrate her special day, she went Christmas shopping with Daddy and then we all met for lunch together. She picked the place and decided she wanted a steak. David let her order her own steak off the adult menu--she was in heaven:) Oh and she ordered one of her other favorites, calamari. The waiter looked surprised that she would want that.

I love this picture of her. She came downstairs and lit up the room with her special energy. She was so cute and grown up with her little clutch purse and hand on her hip as she talked to me. She described to me all the contents of her purse and why she would need those things. I just can't get enough of my sunshine.

David had to work after going to lunch with us, but I took Natalie to get some special popcorn like the kind we had at her princess ball two years ago. We did the same thing last year and I think we will continue that tradition. It is perfect right before Christmas and I love how the rainbow colors remind me of Natalie so much.

I told Natalie I though we should get a cake too and she described exactly what she wanted. A carrot cake with red and green frosting because those are "survivor colors." I was trying to figure out why she thought those two colors were survivor colors and it turns out it is because she has two shirts from the LLS that say survivor, one is red and one is green. When we went to get the cake, she picked this instead- she just LOVED it so much. It wasn't carrot cake, but there is always next time. At least it had red and green. When I told her orange is the color for Leukemia she wanted that on there too. We were going to get balloons but the balloon blowing up person was no where to be found so we chose orange roses instead. Seemed fitting to me.





She stayed up VERY late waiting for Daddy to get home from work so we could celebrate with our cake. After she had her cake she went upstairs to put on her jammies and came down with this shirt on--she was SO proud.


Check out this video. This is a little cheer she did a few days before when we were telling a friend about the upcoming 2 year survivor milestone. I love that she is cheering for herself.

I love this video of her with her flowers. She is just such a silly girl.

This is a video of her getting her last dose of chemo two years before. She really has changed a lot in two years.

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When Natalie was a baby people used to tell us she should be a little baby model. She was beautiful then too. She has always been beautiful. We used to joke that she had the entire package: looks, smarts, humor, sweetness. She had it all. Turns out the only thing she didn't have was a body that was healthy and wanted to work the right way.

These pictures were taken a couple of months ago to be used in some of their promotional materials. They also ended up using two pictures of Natalie to hang up at the Make A Wish building, called the Wishing Place. They updated some of their photos and included Natalie. I had to smile as I thought of these photos and Natalie being a little model. We joked about her modeling all the time when she was a baby and it is funny to me that she seems to always be getting her picture taken in ways that she can help other kids. Kind of like being an ambassador and helping others who might walk in similiar circumstances. It makes me proud of her. When we were in Tucson in Novemeber the social worker was giving us a tour of the new children's portion of the hospital. We were also handing out some costumes from the Princess Alexa Foundation. The social worker went into a room of a little, little one that had just been diagnosed that day. After she came back out she told us that she had told the parents (parents that were obviously still in shock) that they should go to the playroom where Natalie was playing if they wanted a glimpse of HOPE. She pointed out not only how healthy and good Natalie looks, but more than that how well adjusted and HAPPY she is. It was a strong testament to me and a reminder of an experience I had last year when I met a boy with Leukemia and his Mother while out shopping. Later she wrote how seeing Natalie had given her HOPE.

As I've thought about that recently, it feels very special. I was at clinic with Natalie this week. As we sat in the waiting room doing a craft another Mother came and sat down at the same table. Her little girl was about the same age as Natalie and she had big beautiful blue eyes, they stood out because of her blue jump suit. She had the hood on to cover her sweet bald head. The Mother didn't speak a lot of English, but she wanted to talk to me. I saw the look in her eyes and recognized it. Her daughter has medulloblastoma, an aggresive brain tumor. She was just being admitted that day for the three final days of inpatient chemo in a six month treatment schedule. Her Mother was looking at Natalie's long beautiful hair with longing that was written all over her face. She asked me how long it took her hair to grow.

I can still remember that first time I saw someone at clinic that I would never have been able to tell they had cancer. Like I said, I recognize the look on this woman's face and the feeling in her eyes. It isn't so much the hair, there is more. It is a return to wellness.

A year ago my sister had just had a baby and since she had a c-section she couldn't drive. I drove her and her baby to his first doctor's appointment. As she filled out paperwork and made other appointments I held this tiny newborn in my arms, he was a little fussy so I was walking around the waiting room and rocking him. As I stood by the window looking out I noticed an outpatient cancer clinic that is part of the other big hospital chain in town. I didn't know it was there before. I watched a woman walk in and sit in the waiting room. She was holding a bigger child in her arms, the child had a blanket. I would've recognized this child from a mile away. A child not well needs Mommy to hold and comfort, needs a blanket, and does not walk in by themselves. I had been there for a VERY long time. Now here I stood looking through the glass and across the way. I looked around me in the normal pediatrician's office. These kids skipped, galloped, and ran in. Only the babies had blankets in this office. These children were well, even the ones who were sick that day. It was such a juxtaposition to look out and see this other office while I stood in the midst of the normal office. At the time I thought it was kind of like my life. I was in the midst of the well but stood looking back, not sure I wouldn't be returning back, not sure the rug wouldn't be ripped out from under my feet. Now I am standing more sure and confident that our return to wellness is permanent. But once you have stood in the other office and been there for so long, you don't forget. The return to wellness is very sweet. As I look at these pictures of Natalie, I am reminded how grateful I am for and will always be. I remember what it feels like to have a heart full of amazement seeing a child looking well that has walked in those shoes. I know what it feels like to need that HOPE and I am so proud that Natalie can be an ambassador of HOPE to others.